FishTales

TODAY'S "FISHY" STORY!

A woman from Los Angeles, CA who was a tree hugger, a democrat, and an anti-hunter, purchased a piece of timberland, near Colville, WA.

There was a large tree on one of the highest points in the tract. She wanted a good view of the natural splendor of her land so she started to climb the big tree. As she neared the top she encountered a spotted owl that attacked her. In her haste to escape, the woman slid down the tree to the ground and got many splinters in her crotch. In considerable pain, she hurried to Mt. Carmel ER to see a doctor.

She told him she was an environmentalist, a democrat, and an anti-hunter and how she came to get all the splinters. The doctor listened to her story with great patience and then told her to go wait in the examining room and he would see if he could help her. She sat and waited three hours before the doctor reappeared. The angry woman demanded, "What took you so long?"

He smiled and then told her, "Well, I had to get permits from the Environmental Protection Agency, the Forest Service, and the Bureau of Land Management before I could remove old-growth timber from a recreational area. I'm sorry, but they turned me down."

GOD BLESS AMERICA!

Show this to your children and/or grandchildren.

100 years ago there was this car. The 1909 Ford Model R. The year was 1909.

What a difference a century makes!
Here are some statistics for the Year 1909:

*********************

The average life expectancy was 47 years.
Only 14 percent of the homes had a bathtub.
Only 8 percent of the homes had a telephone.
There were only 8,000 cars and only 144 miles of paved roads.
The maximum speed limit in most cities was 10 mph.
The tallest structure in the world was the Eiffel Tower.

The average wage in 1909 was 22 cents per hour.
The average worker made between $200 and $400 per year.
A competent accountant could expect to earn $2000 per year, a dentist $2,500 per year, a veterinarian between $1,500 and $4,000 per year, and a mechanical engineer about $5,000 per year.
More than 95 percent of all births took place at HOME.
Ninety percent of all doctors had NO COLLEGE EDUCATION!
Instead, they attended so-called medical schools, many of which were condemned in the press AND the government as 'substandard. '

Sugar cost four cents a pound.
Eggs were fourteen cents a dozen.
Coffee was fifteen cents a pound.
Most women only washed their hair once a month, and used borax or egg yolks for shampoo.

Canada passed a law that prohibited poor people from entering into their country for any reason.

Five leading causes of death were:
1. Pneumonia and influenza
2. Tuberculosis
3. Diarrhea
4. Heart disease
5. Stroke

The American flag had 45 stars.

The population of Las Vegas, Nevada, was only 30!!!!

Crossword puzzles, canned beer, and ice tea hadn't been invented yet.

There was no Mother's Day or Father's Day.

Two out of every 10 adults couldn't read or write.
Only 6 percent of all Americans had graduated from high school.

Marijuana, heroin, and morphine were all available over the counter at the local corner drugstores. Back then pharmacists said, "Heroin clears the complexion, gives buoyancy to the mind, regulates the stomach and bowels, and is, in fact, a perfect guardian of health."

( Shocking? DUH! )

Eighteen percent of households had at least one full-time servant or domestic help.

There were about 230 reported murders in the ENTIRE U.S.A. !

I am now going to forward this to someone else without typing it myself.
From there, it will be sent to others all over the world - all in a matter of seconds!

Try to imagine what it may be like in another 100 years.

No I can't.

DOES THIS SOUND/ SMELL "FISHY" TO YOU?

I THINK IT IS REMARKABLE THAT WITHIN A WEEK OF TIGER WOODS CRASHING HIS ESCALADE, THE PRESS FOUND EVERY WOMAN WITH WHOM TIGER HAS HAD AN AFFAIR IN THE LAST FEW YEARS, WITH PHOTOS, TEXT MESSAGES, RECORDED PHONE CALLS, ETC. AND, THEY NOT ONLY KNOW THE CAUSE OF THE FAMILY FIGHT, BUT THEY EVEN KNOW IT WAS A WEDGE FROM HIS GOLF BAG THAT HIS WIFE USED TO BREAK OUT THE WINDOWS IN THE ESCALADE. NOT ONLY THAT, THEY KNOW WHICH WEDGE; AND, EACH AND EVER DAY, THEY GIVE AMERICA MORE UPDATES ON HIS SEX-REHAB STAY, HIS WIFE'S PLANS FOR DIVORCE, AND HIS RETURN TO THE PRO-GOLF CIRCUIT.

OBAMA HAS BEEN IN OFFICE FOR OVER A YEAR NOW, AND THIS SAME PRESS STILL CANNOT LOCATE OBAMA'S OFFICIAL BIRTH CERTIFICATE, OR ANY OF HIS PAPERS WHILE IN COLLEGE, OR HOW HE PAID FOR A HARVARD EDUCATION, OR WHICH COUNTRY ISSUED HIS VISA TO TRAVEL TO PAKISTAN IN THE 1980'S AS 'BARRY SOETORO', AND EVEN MICHELLE OBAMA'S PRINCETON THESIS ON RACISM. THEY JUST CAN'T BE FOUND? YET THE PUBLIC STILL TRUSTS THAT SAME LIBERAL PRESS TO GIVE THEM THE WHOLE TRUTH . . . ???

TRULY REMARKABLE!!!

MY GRANDSON...

... is holding up the 44# Northern I caught last fall. With my bum back I was unable to hold it high enough so he could take the picture, so instead had him hold it up while I snapped the pic on my 35mm camera. Picture turned out pretty good, was a bit worried that the light snow would ruin the picture but it didn't even show up.

Caught it at good ol' Dogtooth lake in NW Ontario, been hunting this rascal ever since 1949 when I caught my first good size Northern at Dogtooth. (That pic will be here under the "Fish Tales" button tomorrow, so check it out!)

Had been trolling with 8"-9" live suckers most of the day, but ran out of them after catching a bunch of small 18-20# Northerns. Had one last 3" fat-head minnow in the bucket, put it on, and WHAM! Ol' grandpa Northern hit it! Took me quite awhile to wear him out enough to net, had to play him carefully on my 8# test line. Matter of fact, he broke my line twice while making long runs, before I was able to work him close enough to the boat to net.

With all the milt dripping from him as he was netted, when I cleaned him out for shore lunch was a bit surprised to find both of his egg sacs were still full of eggs. The two of us ate well that day! ;-)

CAP

WISHFUL THINKING ASIDE...

... as far as yesterday's posting here under the 'Fish Tales' button. This pic was actually taken my first year fishing at Dogtooth when I was staying at Bill & Bonnie Renner's 'Hide-Away-Camp'. It was the very first Northern I caught on the lake, was trolling a Daredevil spoon not ten minutes after Dick Larsen and I started to fish on that very first day.

We hit the lake in one of Bill's 16' Cedar-strip St. Peterborough wooden fishing boats, powered by my ancient 5HP Hiawatha outboard motor. And now, over 60 years later, I could take you to within probably 10 or 15 feet of where the fish hit. Such is the magic of Dogtooth, and how it forever has the ability to install happy memories in a fisherman's brain!

CAP

GRAB A COLD ONE & KICK BACK.

Yes, this spring trip was in most ways as usual a winner, no really big Walleye, biggest only a tad over 11# (released) and loads of them. More about the actual fishing will be at the tail end of today's 'Fish Tale', but first want to lay on you a few thoughts that I made notes of during what 'might' be my final spring trip to Dogtooth. (Started in 1949, that seems to make 61 years by the old way of doing math...)

When the sexual appetite of a fisherman (fishergals too?) finally slows down to a crawl and mostly becomes just a memory, there is no happier time in a person's life thereafter than sitting alone in a boat, far from camp, no other boat in sight, cold one in hand, with the Walleyes biting so fast and furious that you hardly have time to take a sip before netting another wily Wally.

And the very best time to go fishing is when you want to; and, the very best time to catch them is when they are biting!

LESSON #1: Never miss an excuse to take a fishing trip. As often as possible.
LESSON #2: Learn how to extend a fishing trip by a day or two. (Many excuses can be used, some twice.)
LESSON #3: If you spent the day fishing and got skunked, learn to lie like crazy.
LESSON #4: But if you somehow managed to snag a few, here is the only way to go:

Head for the nearest campfire spot on shore, get a fire going good & hot while you whip out the tasty boneless fillets. Dredge them quickly in a simple mixture of flour salt & pepper (forget about all the nutty 'fish coatings', they suck) pop them into the BACON GREASE that you brought along with that old, blackened, battle-scarred fry pan (providing the grease is smokin' hot). Give them only two minutes on one side, bit less on the other side, then get them to hell off the fire. Try not to drool as you inhale them with an equal amount of suds. You have just died and gone to heaven for a short spell.

Now back to my trip. It was a record early ice out, they had two weeks of mid-summer temps before I got there, water temp was high, and both the Trout and the Splake were down. Impossible to find. This was the first spring trip in recent memory when I got skunked and failed to bring home limits of both. Otherwise brought home max limits of Walleye, Northerns & Bass, played catch and release several times until I would run out of minnows, and ate fresh-fried-fish every day, gaining about six pounds by the time I packed up and headed home.

Life is good!

CAP 5/26/10

A VERY Fishy Story...

A man goes to a public golf course. He approaches the man behind the counter in the pro shop and says, "I would like 18 holes of golf and a caddie."

The man behind the counter says, "The 18 holes of golf is no problem, but all of the caddies are out on the course. What I will do for you is this: We just received 8 brand new robot golf caddies. If you're willing to take one with you out on the course and come back and tell me how well it works, your round of golf is on me today."

The golfer obviously accepted the man's offer. He approached the first tee, looked at the fairway and said to himself, "I think my driver will do the job."

The robot caddie turned to the man and said, "No sir.. Use your 3 wood. A driver is far too much club for this hole." Hesitantly, the golfer pulled out his 3 wood, made good contact with the ball, and the ball landed about 10 feet to the right front of the hole on the green.

The golfer, delighted, turned to the robot and thanked him for his assistance. As the golfer pulled out his putter he said, "I think this green is gonna break left to right." The robot then again spoke up and said, "No sir. I do believe this green will break right to left."

Thinking about the last time the robot corrected his prediction, he decided again to listen to the machine. He made his putt and birdied the hole thanks to the robot and his advice. But his luck didn't end there. His entire game was the best game he ever played, thanks to the assistance of the new robot golf caddie.

Upon returning to the clubhouse, the man behind the counter asked, "How was your game ?" The golfer stated, "It was, by far, the BEST game I ever played. Thank you very much for letting me take one of your robots. See you next week."

A week passed, and excited, the golfer returned to the pro shop. Upon entering, he turned to the man behind the counter and said, "I would like 18 holes of golf and one of those robot golf caddies, please."

The gentleman from behind the counter turned to the man and said, "Well the 18 holes is no problem. However, we had to get rid of the robots. We had too many complaints."

"COMPLAINTS? Who in the heck could've complained about those robots? They were incredible."

The man sighed and said, "Well, it wasn't their performance. It was that they were made of shiny silver metal, and the sun reflecting off them was blinding to other golfers on the fair way."

The golfer said, "So then why didn't you just paint them black?"

The man nodded sadly and replied, "We did. Then four of 'em didn't show up for work, two filed for welfare, one of them robbed the pro shop, and the other thinks he's the President."